Tag Archives: Anxiety

Let’s Rise to Love Those Left in Fear

This particular post I can’t and won’t take credit for. It was written by: Anthony Bushnell (@anthonybushnell) is an attorney in Minneapolis and board member for the Christian Legal Society. He and his wife have three children and are members at Bethlehem Baptist Church.

But as you read it, you will see God’s truths speaking to you loud and clear!

 Let’s Rise to Love Those Left in Fear

These days have become an important litmus test for white evangelicals in America. How worldly are we? How desensitized have we become, not only to sexual immorality, but to ethnocentrism, partiality, and pride? Has the love of Christ shaped our souls deeply enough that we “look not only to [our] own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4)? Do we have the mind of Christ to truly care for and extend love to those who are different from us?

We have neighbors and coworkers — even friends and family — who are not just disappointed or sorrowful over the presidential-election results, but also genuinely afraid. I don’t mean just the abstract, unrealistic fear of the candidate on the other side of the spectrum from you. No, this is anxiety born directly from specific comments that singled out race or gender. It is personal.

Personally Vulnerable

Muslims remember the president-elect’s declaration a year ago that they should be made to carry identification cards. They remember when his campaign said they should be given a religious test to enter the United States. They remember sitting with a growing sense of isolation and rejection as he and his campaign pressed repeatedly on the threat they pose to America.

Women who have been sexually harassed, assaulted, or abused see a man who has joked about these things now elevated higher in power despite it all. Women who have struggled all their lives for respect in their professions and communities have seen large segments of the nation embrace, applaud, and elect a man who treats women as mere objects and mistresses.

As Christians, we love and care for our neighbors despite our differences. Let’s give hope to the fearful today.

Disabled, sick, and suffering people who have found themselves depending on the Affordable Care Act to avoid losing health coverage know that one of the new president’s first acts will be to repeal that coverage. Many have found the new system to be a financial strain or a headache, but many Americans have also found it provided vital health care they weren’t able to obtain before (or prevented them from losing their coverage). The idea of stripping healthcare away wholesale (whether that’s realistic or not) is terrifying to someone who is seriously ill or handicapped.

Jews and African Americans have felt subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle finger-pointing from the president-elect and his campaign. They have seen hate groups opposed to their very existence come out of the woodwork and latch onto his campaign — mostly without any public discouragement or rebuke from him. They have seen him and his campaign repeat in tweets and ads echoes and hints of conspiracy theories long used to blame them for the ills of our society, theories that have fueled violent racism and abuse toward them in the past.

Some of us may think that the connections between some of these incidents aren’t that serious or plausible. But we aren’t the ones the arrow is pointing at. It feels different when everything seems stacked up against you. That’s what those who don’t feel personally threatened urgently need to understand. Whether you believe the president-elect’s reckless and careless words and associations really reveal a racist intention or not, your neighbors in all of these groups are reasonably fearful that they do. I have friends in all of these groups who have shared their fear and dread, asking for support, in the past 24 hours.

Hurt with the Hurting

“Evangelical Christians” are being “credited” with being a large part of the support that got him elected. How we treat the people that are anxious and afraid over this new presidency will reveal how much like Jesus we really are.

One of the central teachings of Christianity is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37–40). The Bible exhorts us to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15); it doesn’t lead with telling us to “judge whether they should be weeping,” says pastor H.B. Charles, Jr. The same is true for those in fear. We don’t have to agree with the intensity of their fear in order to empathize with them. Compassion doesn’t require us to be convinced another person is entirely correct. It requires us to care about how he is feeling. Even if you think the danger won’t come to pass, the fear is certainly real.

My daughter was sobbing Tuesday night as the election results came in because she was scared for her Muslim friend. I have heard from other friends who had similar experiences with their kids the morning after. More than likely, nobody taught these kids directly to be afraid of the president-elect. They’ve simply heard what he’s said and seen how it affects their friends. They are drawing intuitive, logical conclusions. Sometimes kids are afraid of things that we think they don’t need to be afraid of, but that doesn’t mean that we should ignore the fact that they are afraid. This is real, and this is serious.

Share the Load

It should break our hearts that the election of this man is making our fellow citizens and our children fear for their safety. If we understand that we must weep and empathize with someone in depression, even when they appear to have nothing specific to be depressed about, we should get that we need to mourn with those in fear even if we don’t fully share their fears.

If we see a dear friend struggling and staggering with a heavy load of groceries out of the back of his car, is our first instinct to say, “That isn’t a load you should be carrying”? Hopefully not. Let’s hope that our first response is to run over and grab part of the load to help lighten the burden.

And so it should be with emotional care for a friend. Our first reaction should be to try to come beside them, to lift up our friend, to help bear the burden of their fear or grief. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Perhaps a time will come later to discuss some of the underlying assumptions, and possibly grow together in our perspectives. Or maybe time will show that their worry did not become reality. Or perhaps time will tell that our own lack of fear was naïve. But for now, what is needed is sensitivity, listening, tenderness, compassion, and a demonstration of love and genuine Sconcern.

Reinforce Your Support

Let’s reassure our neighbors that we will stand with them. Right now it is vital for people in any of these affected groups to hear this. Especially from Christians, who (like it or not) are portrayed as having been instrumental in the president-elect’s rise to power.

Our neighbors need to know that, using whatever influence we do have, we are going to be sure to use it to see that they are protected and treated fairly and equally. They need to know we aren’t against them, and we won’t forget about them or turn on them. People need to see firsthand that the true people of God care for them and love them, just as Christ loved them and gave himself for them.

Pray for Them

And finally, pray for them. Pray for their comfort and peace. Pray for reconciliation and harmony between all of us. Pray that God will direct the president-elect so that he does not reflect the words and fears above, but instead serves all Americans alike. Let us not leave the spiritual state of his presidency up for grabs. Instead, let’s seek its transformation in prayer. To this God has called us:

I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:1–4)

The Pressure to Succeed

So how do I start this story? My heart is racing. I am getting heartburn. I’m not shaking outside, but inside I could make a milkshake. I’m nervous. My mind is going a million miles an hour, yet I am lacking as to what to put down on paper. I feel hot and my palms are sweaty.

I want to write something that will be of help to others, but what do I say? How do I explain my life of failures because I am a people pleaser that wants to be accepted and liked for who I am as well as what I am able to accomplish? If you were to look at my résumé, you would probably shake your head and throw it into the trashcan. More jobs than one should have because I “wasn’t perfect enough to accomplish what was expected of me”, so I gave up.

Failures! The story of my life. My dad was a good man with an extremely high IQ. The one thing you didn’t do with my dad was to pick an argument with him. You would lose every time. You had better have your ducks in a row or face rejection and disappointment because you couldn’t meet his standards. And they were high. If I got a B, he would want to know why I didn’t get an A. If I got an A, why didn’t I work hard enough to get an A+? A “perfectionist” at heart and that’s what was expected of me.

I got through college on my dad’s tailcoats because he spent almost a life time working the stock market. And yes, he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. But that wasn’t me. I loved the fine arts – classical music, dance, art, drawing. I was not and probably never will be business oriented even though at one time my wife and I ran an accounting and tax business. I started college taking courses for a business degree, changed to the fine arts, failed there and went back to the business administration side with a degree in public administration, recreation as a field. Great. NO JOBS were there, so I went into retail.

The gist of all this is the fact that it was the beginning of a very long journey trying to discover who I was and where I belonged. And yes, I’m still running the gauntlet with no success. Why you ask. Because I fear walking out my front door just to go to McDonald’s to get some milkshakes for me, my wife and step-daughter.

I feel safe inside, to a point. It’s like my safe haven where no harm or faulty expectations or demands can get to me. It’s my fortress, my bastion where I can hide from those with needs and wants I can’t fulfill because their expectations are too high. It’s my blanket that keeps the anxiety and frustrations at bay. Sounds ridiculous you say.

Yes, it does. But how do I explain to you the real feelings that are going on inside me? How do I explain something I don’t really understand the whys and hows of? What is anxiety? What is fear? Where does it come from and why can’t I gain control of it to stop it from controlling me and ruining my life? I am taking medications for depression, anxiety, glaucoma, A fib, cholesterol, restless leg syndrome. I’ve seen therapists, psychiatrists, counselors, etc., but they haven’t really done me any good. I am now fully retired and am taking care (am a caregiver) for my wife who has a degenerative/debilitating back disease and my step-daughter who has Down Syndrome, an aortic heart valve and is on blood thinners, and is diabetic.

They need me and there is no escape. I don’t want to run away because they are me and I am them. But the demands are endless; I can’t and won’t walk away from them. God gave me this responsibility for a reason and I have to believe that He will guide me and keep me strong so I can do what is necessary in caring for them.

Believe it or not, I do love life. The struggle, like all who are in the same boat as I am as far as feelings of anxiety and depression, is to find a balance in life where I can cope and heal from these perplexities. One thing I can say that may hopefully resound in your minds and mine – NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Below you will see four sets of verses from the bible. They are in the New King James Version and the New International Version (in case the New King James Version is confusing to some of you). Both Timothy and Paul are trying to tell us not to give up. We are in a race. A race for peace of mind and a fulfilled and happy life. A race that will take everything we have to run and win. A race in which the winners get to hang on to life, not lose it.

Dare to read them and dare to take them to heart. Know that we are not the only ones to have gone through what we are currently experiencing. History attests to that. The bible if full of desperate, anxious, fearful individuals whom God has used mightily. The point is you and I need to find a positive way to deal with what we are experiencing and not to give up just because we think what we are doing is not working. It is, just not as fast as maybe you or I would like it to.

1 Timothy 6:12 (NKJV)

12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Timothy 6:12 (NIV)

12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

__________

 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NKJV)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

__________

 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NKJV)

Striving for a Crown

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 25 And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. 27 But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NIV)

The Need for Self-Discipline

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

__________

2 Timothy 2:10 (NKJV)

10 Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.

2 Timothy 2:10 (NIV)

10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

I can’t give up because God won’t let me. Otherwise I would have been dead a long time ago. So don’t you give up either. Let’s together help one another find that balance in life that will help keep us going no matter what we are experiencing at the time. No, it won’t be easy, but know you are not alone. God is there and I am there if you need a shoulder to lean on. I may need one too and it helps to know that there is one I can rely on.